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Talk:Jeff the Killer 2015/@comment-34307922-20180304072912/@comment-25052433-20180306110541
Oh Widward, here I am always writing the shit stories and here you are always asking the tough questions. See, it's late here and I should be sleeping, yet you asked a very important question and I feel that before I can rest I must at least try and supply you with an answer. You ask, "Why does this story even exist?" That is very... meta of you to ask such a thing. Why does this story exist? Could the answer lie in a the flattest of responses, that it exists because I typed it out and posted it to the site? Would that satisfy? No sir, it would not. For you my friend are asking for much deeper answers, answers that perhaps even I, the moron who sat down on the preverbial toilet that is my creative mind and took the literary version of "a big meal at Arby's" all over the Creepypasta Wiki. So, why does it exist? Well, many experts agree that existense is largely defined by self-awareness. "I think therefore I am," as the old saying goes. Self-awareness is largely defined simply as the ability to recognize yourself in the mirror. Of course, this story cannot recognize itself in the mirror, so it clearly has no consciousness and therefore is not self-aware. Yet it still exists, does it it not? So, the original question remains... WHY? Well, I'll tell you. It exists as a personal testiment to man's desire to create horrible stories. You see, most people, historians, philosophers, great men and women of state... they all wrote at least one shit story and posted it here. That's a fact. For example, "Romulus the Killer" was written and posted here by Julius Ceasar himself. Of course, this wiki had much stricter QS back then, and getting a story deleted here meant that your council would stab you a shit-load of times. "Big Rigs Over the Road.exe" a haunted game pasta... yep, written by James A. Garfield, former president of the United States there pal. Once again, his story was deleted and well, so was he. As I said, they were much stricter back then. The former "Queen of the Nile" Cleopatra herself was fond of writing Holder stories. She wrote one that got deleted and she wound up being the "holder" of one pissed off snake. Ever heard of Hannibal? (Not the cannibal) He got the idea of crossing the Alps on war elephants! Too bad he wrote "Dumbo: The Lost Episode" several days before and found himself on the losing side of history. The Great Wall of China stopped every invader except for Genghis Kahn! You know what did stop Gehnghis? The great wall of admins that deleted his story "What They're Not Telling You About Gehnghis Grill." History tells us that Nero either started the fire of Rome or helped extinguish it. No one is quite sure, but what we do know is that his story "Rome Alone," a pasta based on the movie Home Alone, much like Rome itself, went up in smoke. Here's an obscure one for you, ever hear of Pope Sylvester? Crazy guy! Legends tell that he had a succubus and a talking mechanical head that told him the future. Too bad neither of them could warn him that his attempt at a Fright House Screamers sequel would be deleted so hard that not even a Pope could absolve that sin. Alexander Graham Bell, the man credited with inventing the telephone... yep, Who Was Phone indeed! So you see Widward... writing shit stories is simply part of our world history, our collective humanity, our... well, our truest... hmmmm, have you ever heard of a carbon footprint? I guess this is my 'garbage' footprint. And unlike them, my story hasn't been deleted. (yet) You know why Widward? Do you know why MY story hasn't been deleted??? No really, I'm asking you if you have any clue how this shit has stuck around this long, cuz I sure as shit can't figure it out!